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Paul Beckow
1944-2022
You lived a life in service; generous in spirit and kind in heart. Thank you for the contribution you made to so many. We love you and will miss you!
Read More About Paul
Counselling, Programs and Courses
Committed to you being satisfied, nurtured,
effective - to you winning - in all areas of your life.
At the Victoria Family Institute we have something for you.
For your marriage
Couples Counselling, Flowering of Relationship course, LETS TALK articles, Tele-
Counselling, Marriage Savers, The Magic of Communication.
For your family
Living with your Teens (and Winning), Parent coaching, Family Counselling and conflict resolution, Divorce Can Work, The challenge of Discipline, Empowered Parenting
For your workplace
Employee Family and Assistance Program (EFAP). Courses/Workshops.
For your well-being, growth and development
Courses for - Making your Relationships Work, LIVING LIGHTLY - LIVING FREELY
Mastery of Life - Transforming Conflict, Winning with Stress,
Professional Development
Counselling Introduction and Training, Counsellor supervision,
Enhancing the Effectiveness of Therapy
Testimonials
Individual Counselling:
Whenever I come to see Paul and we take on a problem I'm feeling stuck with, I leave feeling clearer and stronger. Our work together has made a big difference for me.
Joan M
Couple Counselling:
" A lot has changed since my wife and I began seeing you. We've both taken away a lot of new ideas about how to make things work in our marriage and we're a lot happier with ourselves now. Thanks Paul. "
Robert H.
Flowering of Relationship Course:
" I am so glad that the Flowering of Relationship Course is continuing and others will have the opportunity to benefit the way my husband and I have. It has had a clear effect on us still. "
Lynne M.
Divorce Can work:
"From the beginning of our decision to separate I felt committed to everyone in our family ( and I meant everyone) being okay through all the changes. It feels good to know my ex-husband and I are taking care of things in a good way. Paul, much of that was due to your support and direction."
Sandy W.
Family Counselling:
"Your expertise got our family through what, at times, felt like a complete brick wall. We were all so out of touch with one another. Through the several family meetings we had with you I'd say we reduced our conflict 100%."
Katherine M
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LETS TALK
LETS TALK is a column published in the Goldstream News in which Paul replies to questions from client's regarding concerns and challenges they are
experiencing in their individual, couple, and/or family life.
His answers to these questions are meant to be fresh, practical and educational.
To access the list and titles of the LETS TALK column along with Paul's other published articles....Click here
Enjoy your reading !
Making Your Marriage Work
Paul Beckow M.Sc. R.P.C.
Individual, Couple, and Family Therapist
Remember when Prince Charming carried his Princess , the beautiful Sleeping Beauty, over the threshold? The story ends there and we’re told “They lived happily ever after.” Notice no one followed the happy couple behind the palace gates to see just how they solved who does the dishes or gets up to feed the baby late at night.
In marriage there are no guarantees and there is lots to solve and sort out together. The lessons relationship have to teach us are endless. Couples begin their life together with little or no prior training, no curriculum guide or instruction manual, no on-call assistance or supervision.
The truth is finding your prince or princess is not the end of the story. It’s the beginning - and the real question is - after the honeymoon period and through the years that are ahead - how do you keep your marriage alive and strong?
Empathizing with the challenges in front of any couple, here are some tips - a “Beckow’s half dozen,” so to speak - six keys to having a great and satisfying marriage.
One) Learn to make yourself happy
There is nothing more important in relationship than learning the art of making yourself happy. And it is an art. It begins as you let go of the expectation your partner will make your life happy and access the wisdom and the resourcefulness inside to look after our own well being. By developing this capacity to create pleasure and satisfaction out of life’s simple moments and it’s predicaments, we are learning to take care of our selves and the relationship.
There’s nothing more empowering than two people who each know how to make themselves happy, and who then express this satisfaction into the relationship. That’s power. Even if there is only one person who knows this skill it makes an enormous difference.
Two) Relationship is an inside job.
Most people think a relationship is something they “work on” outside themselves. It’s not. Consider a relationship an “inside job.” Your relationship exists in what you are saying to yourself about your partner and about your relationship. That’s where a relationship is.
Being in relationship is like growing a garden. What you are saying to yourself , your decisions, and beliefs, are the plants that take hold in your garden.
To read the rest of this article click Making your Marriage work
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